I'm still working on that whole learning-to-talk thing.

Last night at work I attempted to take a drink order from two guests.

I usually start in on the beverage-ordering process by saying one of two things: either, "Can I start you off with a beverage this evening?" or, "Can I start you off with a beverage tonight?" However, while standing at this one particular table, I mixed up my words at just the wrong moment.

I said, "Can I start you off with a beverage this night?"

This night? Ugh. I felt like such a goon - like the restaurant had me on loan for the day from a Renaissance Faire. I should have followed the question with, "Mayhap m'lord would enjoy a tankard of ale? Or a goblet of wine, perchance? If a tincture of lemon, water and sugar is more to your liking, verily, our lemonade is the finest in all the land!"

What a goober.