Saturday, May 8, 2010


Tonight at work I approached a nice couple seated at one of my tables. They had placed their crumpled napkins on their plates. The gentleman was playing with a toothpick. Only a sip or two of wine remained in their glasses.

ME: (Reaching to gather the dinner plates) I see napkins on the plates - that's the international signal for "We're done," right?
THE WOMAN: (Laughing) Oh, is it?
ME: Yup. Just like a closed menu is the international signal for "We're ready to order."
THE GENTLEMAN: (Smiling and waving his toothpick at me) What's playing with a toothpick the signal for?
ME: Playing with a toothpick? Well sir, (chuckling) that's the international signal for "Take my glass of wine before I'm done with it and I'll stab you in the eye.

(A five second pause follows. THE WOMAN and THE GENTLEMAN laugh nervously.)

THE GENTLEMAN: We'll take our check now, please.

My lip still has indentations in it from getting bitten so hard after the words, "I'll stab you in the eye" escaped my mouth.


Noel said...

The fact that they didn't even laugh at the unexpected-ness of the joke says a lot. I hope they came to appreciate it later.

Soj said...

I see you like to joke with your customers (which is cool) so just re-frame them in a more POSITIVE way and you'll get more laughs ;)


Guy: What's toothpick blah blah mean?
You: It means you're about to leave a big tip.

Guy: What's toothpick blah blah mean?
You: It means you're about to order two slices of our chocolate cake.

Etc, etc ;) Awesome blog! :)

Lola Cutter Hensel said...

Thanks, Soj :)