Thursday, June 17, 2010

#3,201 on the List of Things That Confuse Me

How the heck do we walk on two feet?

Seriously, how is it that people ever get past the crawling stage? Look at how small your feet are in proportion to the rest of your body. Go ahead, look.

See? It boggles my mind that we're able to balance our whole bodies, upright, on those pathetic little meat packets. Not only that, but plenty of people (myself excluded) manage to be fairly graceful while balancing like that, and a lot of women like to make the ordeal even more ridiculous by stuffing their feet into spiky shoes.

Logic tells me that we should all be crawling around on all fours. Imagine how bizarre the whole bipedal concept would be if applied to some everyday thing that requires more reasonably distributed points of balance, like a table or a car.

Bravo, you wacky early humans who first began to walk on two feet. The beautiful absurdity of your acrobatic aspirations, I'm afraid, has been mostly lost on later generations.

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