Saturday, March 20, 2010

#1,254 on the List of Things That Confuse Me

I get how most makeup trends developed. Things like eyeliner, lipstick and blush were meant to enhance a woman's natural features and make them look more ideal.

But what's up with nail polish?

I can understand the French manicure - it mimics the look of the natural fingernail. However, the origin of the bright-red-painted nails eludes me.

The theory I've developed is this:

Back in prehistoric times, there were certain matriarchal tribes of early humans who prized a female's ability to hunt. So, in order to heighten their appeal as a mate, the women of the tribe began to paint their fingertips red so as to look bloodstained from many successful hunts.

Thus, one caveman might say to another, "Get a load of that sexy broad... she looks like she's spent some serious time knuckle-deep in a mastodon carcass!"

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