Tuesday, February 9, 2010

#1,452 on the List of Things That Confuse Me

Often, at work, I find myself placing one thing or another on a table in front of a guest and saying, "Here we are." I say it a lot.

Example:

Me: (Setting a bottle of ketchup down next to a guest's french fries.) Here we are.

See?

But what, I've begun to wonder, does this phrase mean? What, exactly, am I saying?

"Here we are - your fried clams and I. Right here, at your table. Just like you wanted."

or is it,

"Here we are - you and I. Right here, at a seafood restaurant. Ain't life strange?"

Similarly, I'll sometimes say something like this:

Me: (Offering a guest their entree.) Here we go.

Here we go? What am I saying?

"Here we go - you, me and this plate of baked scrod. Off on a crazy flavor adventure."

1 comment:

Wentzell said...

Very true. I am also one to use such phrases as "There we are" when dropping food. or "no problem" when they ask for something outlandish.

I mean where is the 'there' that I am speaking of? and why is it a group activity? Also, why do my guests not pick up on my mindless talk?

And IT IS a problem for me to walk half a football field from the four hundreds to go and ask our extremely dry and emotionless chef if we can make this woman's baked haddock with "SLIGHTLY extra crumbs, tomatoes on the side --diced, side house salad with walnuts instead of sunflower seeds and dressing on the side, broccoli cooked until it's some sort of green plasma and a side order of butternut squash mashed up" for her 80, wannabe 40, y/o mouth to gum down. Yes, my lovely old rich lady who's "friends with Roger". It is a fucking problem.