Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Dreamwaking? Awake-dreaming? Self-inflicted mind torture?

I'm sure there's a term out there for this hateful occurence. I'm just too tired to search for it.

Occasionally I experience an awful state of "sleep" where I'm dreaming but my eyes are open and I'm aware of my surroundings. Thus, the setting and circumstances of my anxiety dream are sort of layered over the dark bedroom that I'm in. I'll be surrounded by desks or dining tables, people will be passing through the room or lining up in the doorway and waiting to be seated. My bedroom will simultaneously be my bedroom and the restaurant I work in, or the high school I went to, or even a set piece in a play I'm expected to perform in. While all these dream-things are happening around me, I'm acutely aware that I'm exhausted and don't have the energy to get out of bed.

It's horrible. I get out of bed more tired than I was when I got in.

Why does my own mind conspire so cruelly against me?

Ugh. Please wish me better luck tonight.


your sympathetic sister said...

not even the world's greatest relaxation cds are working for you? oh punkin, i think you need a pork chop fix!!

Paulette said...

This has been happening to me since high school!! At one point, I worked both at a barn and at the security station at Guitar Center. I dreamed that musicians were lining up at the foot of my bed waiting to check in their guitars.... while, at the same time, my other boss kept squeezing past them with muddy horses for me to bathe.

Way more awful than normal nightmares because you know it's your real life!

Try sleeping pills and/or yoga and/or watching a horror movie before bedtime so you have fictional scary dreams instead.