Woman and Serverwoman

I like it when animals tell you exactly what they are right there in their name. This is a courtesy most often extended by fish (swordfish, bluefish, catfish), bears (polar bear, grizzly bear, brown bear) and birds (bluebird, mockingbird, Big Bird).

You never have to go up to a blackbird and ask, "Excuse me sir, but which animal group do you belong to?" You don't have to ask, because it's clear that he is a bird: It's right there in his name. In a perfect world, we would never have to think twice about how to categorize creatures such as lioncats, marmoset monkeys and coyotedogs.

On a more personal note, my fear of an impending robot apocolypse has inspired me to add a human touch to all job titles. Political correctness be darned; I like terms like "mailman" and "policewoman" - they let you know that a real living, breathing person is doing the job. Thus, from now on, I would like to be referred to as a serverwoman and a baristalady.

Doesn't that sound comforting?

A serverwoman is fallible, and may be brought down with relative ease if she malfunctions and goes on a savage rampage. A server, however, could just as easily be either a human or a mimetic poly-alloy cyborg assassin - there's nothing in the name to tell you either way, so you're really taking a gamble.

Cyborgs, in case you didn't know, are not so easily brought down in the event of  a rampage.