Twisted Adages

Some months ago I developed a brief addiction to Sporcle.com, an online quiz site. I would spend long hours delighting myself by proving that I could identify movie posters for popular films and a not-entirely-pathetic number of quotes from classic literature. After a while, though, I found that it wasn't enough to merely impress myself; I needed to impress someone else by challenging them to beat my scores. So, I sat Jason down at the computer and directed him to a number a quizzes.

He did better than me on some quizzes, not as well on others. Then came the Adages Quiz.

The Adages Quiz provided the first few words of popular adages and then prompted the quiz-taker to complete the sentence. For example, if the prompt was, "A penny saved..." you would complete the adage by typing in "is a penny earned."

Here are a few of my favorite selections from Jason's quiz:

(Please note: the responses you are about to witness were not attempts at humor. They were my husband's actual understandings of popular sayings.)


1. Those who live in glass houses... shouldn't throw bricks.

2. Don't throw the baby... out the window. 

To be fair, those first two stick pretty close to the meaning of the original adages. That didn't stop me from laughing, though. This next one takes on a rather biblical twist in Jason's hands:


3. Spare the rod... and thy staff.

And, finally, we have my personal favorite:


4. A rolling stone... has no home.

Feel free to chime in with the actual endings to the adages above. Better yet, come up with your own versions.