Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My Top Draft Pick: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Jason and I are moving to Austin next week.

Next week.

After months of working sixty hour work weeks, all of our saving and planning has finally brought us right up to the precipice of our big adventure. The truck rental has been scheduled, a travel route has been sketched out, our new apartment is waiting for us; there are only a few crucial tasks left on our to-do list. Tonight we finally sat down and tackled the most daunting project yet.

Tonight we sorted through Jason's childhood action figures.

From the large box that had been decaying in his parents attic, my husband produced approximately fifty toys - action figures mostly, with the odd crystal geode or penguin music box tossed in here and there. Then we sat on the living room floor and went through them one by one.

I've never felt like such an evil, selfish monster in my life.

Certain decisions were easy. I mean, Darth Vader, Bebop and Rocksteady were obvious keepers. The rest of our torturous half-hour draft session was not so easy. Here's a couple sample conversations:

Jason holds up a headless Master Shredder figure.

JASON: I say yea.
ME: Nay.
JASON: Explain your thinking.
ME: Okay. Cons: He has no head.
JASON: Okay, but... Pros: he has two arms and two legs.

***

Jason holds up a neon green lizard-like creature wearing a purple baseball cap and a roller skate on his tail.

ME: Nay.
JASON: What? Really? Why?
ME: (Attempting to be gentle,) I just think we should be picking the cream of the crop here.

Jason looks at me with a bewildered, infant-like sorrow in his thirty-one year old eyes.

JASON: But, but... (Pointing at the lizard-thing's undersized yellow shirt,) He has a little green belly!

***

Eventually we narrowed the the group down to a team of twenty-one.

Some picks I'm delighted with...



... some I'll learn to love...



... and with a little grief counseling, I think Jason will be okay.

3 comments:

wordgrrrl said...

is that mayor mccheese? how can you not love that thing??

i am sad that one of those crucial tasks is taking the cats back. we are really going to miss them. and we just got this cool leopard print chair today that mina hasn't moved from. you'll have to buy a leopard print chair for your apartment in austin.

on the upside, i think we'll be getting cats!

Lola Cutter Hensel said...

it's not mayor mccheese, it's from a line of action figures called food fighters.

a little online research shows that this particular gentleman is a "kitchen commando" named Burgerdier General.

Anna said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA