Monday, June 28, 2010

The Greatest Story I Never Told

Here's a picture of a "key ring" that I bought a few years ago from Smallthings Designs:



I bought the ring because I thought it was beautiful - plain and simple as that. I just liked the way it looked.

I am frequently asked, though, "What's the meaning behind the ring?" When I respond with, "Oh, I just liked the way it looked," the person I'm speaking with is invariably underwhelmed. People are looking for a good story, and I feel terrible when I can't give it to them.

So I've decided I need to make up a story. A bunch of stories. Funny stories, sad stories, stories of mystery... I want to have a whole arsenal of tales at the ready whenever I'm asked about the origin of my ring.

And, I am officially accepting suggestions.

Flex those sexy imagination muscles for me! Please, go to the comments section below and post your hypotheses. Where did I get the ring? Why? Is it magic? Cursed? Is it a precious family heirloom or did I maybe just find it on the sidewalk one day?

Ready? Go! I will be eagerly awaiting your ideas.

14 comments:

Lauren Ayube said...

You bought a Vintage/Antique piece of clothing at an old out of the way consignment shop.... You tried it on when you got home and the ring was in the pocket.

Alan Samiljan said...

I can't believe you found it! That is the symbol of the little known other Irish vegetable famine. It is the fabled CELTIC CELERY! Cherish it and NEVER FORGET

Eddie B. said...

The Ring was given to you by an old gypsy women after you saved her cat from being hit by a car. The ring is 500 years old said to give good fortune to its owner. The Key is the symbol of a secret gypsy organization set up to hide a secret treasure believed to be in eastern Europe.

Rita said...

I was also thinking of something along the lines of a female secret society- if I told you more, I'd have to kill you.

or

In the middle ages, instead of engagement rings for women, men received, not the key to a woman's heart, but to her chastity belt. As the fad of iron panties faded away, men still wanted a subtle way to brag to his friends about what was his.

Dan Clinton, RN, BSN, Sex Machine said...

Clearly, the the ring is the key to Jay's chastity belt.

DC said...

A little girl at one of your tables gave it to you. She was sad and you cheered her up by giving her a free scoop of ice cream.

Lola Cutter Hensel said...

These are amazing - I'm loving them!

Cooner said...

You had a favorite cat that you buried when you were nine and planted a tree you got at school on arbor day in the ground to mark the grave. years later in high school a terrible tornado watch storm wreaked havoc on your yard including destroying the now slightly bigger tree that marked the grave of your beloved pet. Upon going outside to survey the damage to your property you walked over to where the tree once stood tall only to see something gleaming in the sunset light in the dirt. It was a ring- perhaps a gift from the afterlife from your furry best friend that will open a secret when you die.

Priscilla said...

It's the key to the cupboard where the kryptonite is stored and....omigod! I've said too much already. Plese, don't ask me anything. Forget we had this conversation.

Noel said...

your great aunt was being taken to prision in Ecuador for smuggling refugees into America. The ring was the only valuable item she had, a family heirloom, and knowing that the prison guards would surely take it away, she put it in her mouth and attempted to swallow it. She choked to death on the ring. It was found by the undertaker when her body was brought home for burial.

Lola Cutter Hensel said...

My readers are amazing. You all really delivered!

Zayla866 said...

You saw someone drop the ring and you were torn between picking the ring up and returning it or picking it up and keeping it. Of course you kept it because it was just calling your name.
You picked it up and you immediately felt the need to keep it. At first you didn't tell anyone where you got the ring which resulted in you pushing the fact that someone lost the ring out of your mind. Thus you have forgotten that you feel the need for a story now. But really all you need to do is give me my ring back. :)

Lola Cutter Hensel said...

hahaha, i'll think about it.

Miss Kolleen said...

LOLA THAT IS OUR SECRET SPECIAL RING AND YOU HAVE RUINED THE RELATIONSHIP NOW :(